Bad

I am just getting REALLY BAD in the blogging department. I wish I could get myself back into posting routinely, but it just isn't working for some reason?

We've been pretty busy lately, which is no big surprise. We have activities every night of the school week, except for Fridays. That wasn't really planned. Gage's Taekwondo class added a 3rd night and after he becomes a Camo Belt (tonight) we have the option of going 4 nights a week! Mon, Tues, Thurs and Sat. I hate to commit to that, since it isn't required, but I would like to make sure we are getting our money's worth ($89/month, + testing fees every 8 weeks, + equipment fees)!!! Gage is enjoying it and until he starts complaining, we'll continue with the schedule.

Girl Scout Cookie sales start on Friday! Emma has set big goals this year. She wants to sell 500 boxes! YIKES! I told her she is going to have to work extra hard to meet that goal. We sold 221 last year, and didn't work too terribly hard at it, so I suppose it is possible to reach that goal. If only I liked selling things. If you want any cookies, be sure to let us know! :-)

Emma will be singing at church again this Sunday. I'm pretty darned nervous about it since she hasn't practiced yet. She did go through the song once a week ago with our babysitter, Erin, who plays the piano, but that is it. I haven't even heard how it goes yet, so I can't even really help her. She will practice on Wednesday evening with the other 2 girls. Thank goodness I have friends who can plan the piano and get her a couple of extra practice sessions in before the weekend! I'll be sure to get it on video and post it on YouTube for those of you who won't be able to see it.

I'm hoping you all have a great week!

Out with the old and in with the new!

I just can't believe how quickly the year 2009 flew by! I'm hoping to slow the progression of 2010, the best that I can!

We had a great Christmas in Iowa with family. The kids just LOVE being there and playing non-stop with their cousins. It's unfortunate for Emma that she doesn't have any female cousins her age, but she makes do.

It wasn't until just yesterday, that I noticed how "calm" I was feeling. I was thinking about why I had that feeling, and decided that I must have had quite a bit of anxiety leading up to the holidays. I'm not quite sure why I get myself so anxious, but I'm going to try and put an end to most of that craziness, if I can. I cause alot of the stress myself, by taking on too many things. I think I would be less busy if I had a full-time job, if that makes any sense.

The kids' activities are picking back up now that the holidays are over. I don't think that all of those things going on are what cause alot of my anxiety though. However, we have, or are in the process of, having a few more things added to our list. Gage will have an extra night of Taekwondo starting next week for 3 evenings/week. The kids decided they really enjoyed going to LOGOS, the church's youth group, which is on Wednesday evenings, and Emma is going to play basketball with a team of girls from her class at the YMCA starting next week.

I think most of my anxiety is brought on by the need that I feel to do things for others. I enjoy doing those things, but when you are a person that can't say "no", it gets a little overwhelming at times. I'm not sure how I can stop doing all of those things, because I haven't suddenly gotten good at saying "no" overnight. It's going to take some time, I'm sure. I just want to be able to stop and recognize when the anxiety level starts to rise and then figure out how to slow things down a little so I'm not stressing out. (Good luck with that Stacy!)

I'm not one that is big into making New Year's Resolutions. I figured out several years ago that I typically fail at carrying out the resolution for more than a couple of weeks, to a month. Last year I decided to make the resolution to be more organized. I worked hard at it initially, but then slacked off and got overwhelmed. I wanted to make the same resolution this year, to get organized. I think I am just going to try and get organized without making it a resolution. I think if I can log onto A&E.com to watch past episodes of Hoarders on a regular basis, that will be enough to keep me going right there. I love that show! Instead, my resolution for 2010 is to take more time for myself to do one of the things I enjoy most........................scrapbook. I have been getting together with a friend, on the Fridays that I don't work in the lunchroom, and scrapbooked a few hours in the morning. Although I don't always get as much done as I would like, I am making some progress. Every page counts.

Just around the corner!

I can't believe that Christmas is just around the corner! This year just whizzed right by! I'm not done with my Christmas shopping yet and I think this has got to be a record year, as I have NEVER been this late at getting all of my shopping done. I also wish there were a couple more paychecks between now and Christmas! It was pretty poor timing on my part (not that it could be controlled) with all the medical tests and procedures I was having just a little over a month ago. Those bills all add up and it has delayed my holiday shopping a bit.

This past weekend we enjoyed watching Emma sing her first solo in our Church's Christmas Musical. She did such a wonderful job and I am so proud of her. I just can't imagine getting up in front of the congregation to talk, let alone sing!! I think she enjoyed it, despite being a little "shakey" and nervous for her first time. We are so lucky that she has such wonderful role models to look up to at church. You can check out her video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o6KPnfQTms#watch-main-area or click on the video below.

I am trying to get it arranged to get the kids' flu shots up to date. Gage had both of his seasonal flu and H1N1 vaccinations, but is due for the H1N1 booster. I have been getting alot of phone calls that appear to be telemarketers and was hesitant to answer the phone, but I was glad I did when it was a voice recording telling me it was time to get Gage's H1N1 booster! Emma hasn't had either the seasonal flu shot or the H1N1. I am going to try and get those done before the holiday break from school and before we head to Iowa for Christmas.

The kids are very excited about our Christmas travel plans. They just can't wait to see their cousins and grandparents. I'm hoping we have good weather for travel!

The month of November whizzed right by!

I can't even believe it's been almost 1 month since my last blog post! I am not doing so well lately. Maybe I need to make blogging one of my New Year's resolutions?

I've seen other friends on Facebook, who also have blogs, copy and paste them into their FB notes, so I decided maybe I should try that and see if that works any better for holding me accountable?

November has pretty much flown by. We have been quite busy with all sorts of activities. Emma had her first dance performance last weekend. It was so cute. I need to get my pictures and video posted. The kids will be participating in our Church's Christmas Musical again this year. They started practice a week or so ago. After the first meeting, Emma told me they asked for any volunteers to sing a solo. She said that she and one other girl raised their hand. YIKES!! I asked Emma if she realized what that meant. She said she did and when I told her there would be no acting shy, not wanting to get up on the stage if she decided to do this. She told me she would get up there and sing! Today at church I was told that she will have a small solo along with a few other girls in the opening song. My stomach is already hurting. I am certainly NOT one to get up in front of a crowd to speak, let alone sing. And since I can't sing, I'm sure everyone else is grateful for my fear! However, I must say that I am quite proud that she is brave enough to give it a try. I can't imagine how terrible my stomach is going to be the day of the performance. However, I will do my best not to let Emma see the butterflies.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving that we spent with our friends, Laura and Gary Walters. Two of their 3 children are the same age as Gage and Emma. Gage said he thought that perhaps this was his best Thanksgiving EVER! :-)

We have been on the stick this weekend and have gotten all of our Christmas decorations out and up! Emma has been begging me for a week to get them out. I told her when she and Gage had all of their things picked up and the house was cleaned, then we could get them out. She did a pretty good job and was getting frustrated that her brother wasn't helping her out too much. Since we didn't have anything planned for the weekend, we had the time to get the cleaning done and the decorations up. Pictures to follow.

November

I can't believe it's already November! This year is whizzing right by! Christmas is going to be here before we know it!

As most all of you probably already know, my biopsy results came back GREAT! It was a cyst and I was never so relieved to hear that news in all my life! That was one of the worst things I think I have gone through and I pray I never have to do that again!!!

We continue to be busy here. We had a wonderful Halloween with beautiful weather. We couldn't have asked for much better. The kids had a good time. Many of our friends that we drive to their house to trick or treat had called or emailed to tell us they wouldn't be home on Halloween. There was a big event at the Civic Center with the Prairie Home Companion radio show. So, we didn't have as many houses to drive to this year, so the kids enjoyed walking around the neighborhood with their good friends/neighbors, Hallie and Erik. We did drive to a couple houses as Emma wanted to trick or treat at her teacher's house. While we were out and about Gage suggested we go trick or treat at the Governor's residence. He said, "I heard they give out whole candy bars!" It wasn't too late, so we decided to see what all the fuss was about. Gage was disappointed that the Governor didn't actually answer the door, it was his wife Mikey. He was also disappointed that he just got a single Reeses peanut butter cup. LOL! I don't know for sure what he was expecting overall, but I think it was a bit of a letdown. At least we went so he could see that for himself.

We went to Tuttle yesterday afternoon to wash sheets, make beds and clean out the refrigerator of any expired items. There are some people coming to North Dakota to film the DU Television Show. Scott will be guiding them on the hunt. I wasn't sure why he was doing all the cleaning that he was doing yesterday until he mentioned that the donor that they are taking out to hunt for the television show was a $20,000,000 donor. He is the CEO of a big company that you may know as Bayer. (As in the Bayer aspirin)!!! I told Scott I didn't want to burst his bubble, but that no amount of cleaning he could do would make his Hotel de Tuttle Duck Shack look good to someone who can just give DU $20,000,000!!!!! He did his best to get it cleaned up; however. Needless to say, this will take Scott away from home for most of the week. I will be SO GLAD when WINTER gets here and freezes everything up! Bring it on Mother Nature!!! :-)

I learned at school last week that Gage missed his LoS (Levels of Service) reading class. After asking him why, I learned that I must be enabling Gage a bit too much. He admitted that he had no idea what day or time he even had this special class, that he relies on a fellow classmate to tell him when to go. He said that his classmate was mad at him on this particular day and decided not to tell Gage that they had reading class. After talking to Gage's teacher and LoS teacher, they said they would put a reminder note on Gage's desk. I hope this works! I also decided to get him a watch with an alarm that will hopefully help as well! He wore the watch to school on Friday and when I asked him where it was, when I noticed it wasn't on his wrist, he said he left it at school because it wasn't set right so he just took it off. UGH! He can't seem to remember any of these little details and it is driving me NUTS! We went in early this morning so I could get the watch and get it set to the correct time, date and alarm time, so we'll see how this reminder works. I sure didn't know that he was missing class, but am thankful that I just happened to be in the hallway when another friend of Gage's said, "Hey Gage! You missed reading class!" Oh, what you can learn about your children just by walking in the halls of the school! I guess I am going to have to make the kids a little more responsible about the date and activities they have going on, so they will not just take for granted that someone else is just going to take care of it for them!!

Overdue for an update

Sorry I've been negligent in the blog-updating department. Not only have I had alot to worry about, I've just had alot going on! It's been crazy here! Where do I start?

One week ago today, poor little Emma woke up with a temperature of 103. I kept her home from school that day and thought little of it. We just kind of hung around on Saturday and then on Sunday she was fine. We went to church and also had a fun afternoon at Papa's Pumpkin Patch in 80 degree weather!! Monday morning after waking the kids up, Gage comes upstairs crying and telling me his eyes hurt. I thought that was a little weird, and when I leaned my head against the side of his, I noticed he felt warm. Not good! He was scheduled to get his tonsils out the next day and I knew that if he had a temperature, they would not do it. I had all kinds of crazy thoughts floating around in my head, like not telling anyone, etc. etc. However, my gut instinct was telling me I better do the right thing. I called up the Surgicenter to notify them of the low-grade temp, as it said to do in my instruction booklet. Of course they said I would have to have him cleared by our family doctor in order for him to continue with the surgery. I kept him home from school and spent the morning on the phone trying to get an appointment with our pediatrician. I finally got in touch with someone and got an appointment for 10:40. After sitting in the waiting room for literally an hour, we finally made it in to see the doctor. Because there were tons of kids sick with the H1N1 (swine) flu, they sent Gage to the lab to be tested for it. There had been 118 kids sick from Northridge school the past couple of days, and there were 3 other families we knew from Northridge that came into the doctor's office while we were waiting. Later that afternoon, they called us to tell us that he tested positive for influenza A, which they said most likely is the H1N1 (swine) flu. UGH! Needless to say, his tonsillectomy was cancelled. I was sad about that because he would have missed less school if we could have done it this week since we have a 4-day weekend because of Teacher Convention. Oh well. Everything happens for a reason, right? I think I was actually a little bit relieved, because I was scheduled for an outpatient procedure just 2 days later.

When I went in to consult with the surgeon a week and a half ago, he gave me a couple of options on what we could do. The first option was to do a core needle biopsy. The second was a wire-guided excisional biopsy. Even though the latter is a bit more invasive, we chose that direction because it gives more definitive results. I had the procedure done yesterday and will have to wait until Tuesday for any results. The first part of this excisional biopsy was performed in the radiology department where they used mammography to locate the site of the nodule so they could insert a wire through a needle into the area so the doctor could open up the breast and excise the tissue around the end of the wire. As gruesome as it all sounds, it wasn't all that bad. I have very little, to almost no, post-op incisional pain. It was a very weird feeling as I was lying on the operating table looking around at all of the lights and equipment and the next thing I know, I hear the doctor talking as he is finishing up the procedure. I immediately started asking questions, like "What did you find?" etc, etc. Even though I can't really remember what he said, I do remember them showing me the tissue they excised that was in a little ziploc bag. Apparently he told Scott that he didn't think it looked bad, but that we would have to wait until Tuesday for the results. We've been waiting for 3 1/2 weeks, so what's another 5 days?

Scott has been VERY busy lately with work and guiding DU donors on hunts. It has been very difficult for me not having him here. He later claimed that his way of dealing with all of this was by staying busy to keep his mind off things. Unfortunately that wasn't what I was needing, but hopefully all of this will be in the past come Tuesday when we get final results. I have quite a few doctor's appointments coming up this next week. I am to see the Bone and Joint doctor for my shoulder, I am to see my doctor to talk about the Holter monitor study and then return for a follow-up with the surgeon on Friday to make sure the incision is looking okay. I am sure going to hate it when all of these medical bills start making their way to our mailbox! I'm hoping to get all of this overwith and get on with life. It's been a little hard to focus lately, as you can imagine!

Waiting

I think waiting is about one of the worst things in the world. I can't stand waiting. I've never been known for my "patience". Sometimes I can hide it better than others; however.

In my last post I mentioned all of the tests I have had to undergo recently. I have finally gotten some results back from a few of them. The MRI of my left shoulder showed I have a torn labrum and 2 labral cysts (that's not to be confused with labia or labial) which is part of the rotator cuff. I have no idea when I injured it and I have to go in to see the Bone and Joint doctor on Thursday to see what to do about it.

I was told when I turned in my Holter monitor that it could be 10 days before I get those results.

I also had the special view mammogram and ultrasound last Thursday. When I was in with the mammogram tech I asked her when I would get the results and she told me the office would probably call me the next day with them. When I told her they didn't call me with the first set of results, she suggested that I call them the next day. The ultrasound tech gave me absolutely no information at all. I know they can't, but she could at least TALK to ease the nerves a little! Maybe ask me how my day was or SOMETHING? At this point I am a little frustrated and thought I would attempt to get any information she would give me (which was nothing). I asked her a few questions like, "Have you found it yet?" "How will the doctor know by looking at that black area what this is?" "What do you think it is?" "If this turns out to be something, what will be the next step?" And of course, as I said, I got no answers. Well, I did get one answer and what was, "I can't tell you that, you'll have to get that information from your doctor." BLAH BLAH BLAH! When I got home and after talking to a friend, she suggested I call the office and demand results. Well, you know me. That isn't something I would normally do. However, the waiting is driving me absolutely crazy! I called the office and ended up getting the answering machine for the nurse. I was really upset when I learned by listening to the message that they would not be in the office on Friday, which meant if I didn't get answers then, I would have to wait the entire weekend. I left a message and I'm sure when they listened to it they probably were afraid to call me. It was a combination of mad and sad that I'm sure wasn't making them want to call me back anytime soon! After awhile, I decided to call back to see if there was even anyone in the office. When the nurse answered, and when I said, "This is Stacy Stephens" she says, "OH! Stacy! I have all of your results on Dawn's desk and she will be calling you shortly." THANK GOODNESS! It was probably within 10 minutes or so when the doctor (nurse practitioner) called me back. It wasn't the news I wanted to hear. The results of the mammogram and ultrasound suggested further evaluation yet. She said I would need to come in for an ultrasound guided aspiration (I think). It really is true, what you see in the movies, when someone gets that awful diagnosis, you truly don't hear much of what is said after that. She told me not to "freak out", that's easy for her to say, and she thought they were just being cautious since I have a family history of breast cancer with my sister. She told me she would talk to the surgeon and call me back Friday to let me know if they would be doing it in the office or in the OR. More waiting! She did get me called back on Friday and I had to be connected with the surgeon's office to schedule a consultation. More waiting! I talked to them and have my appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning at 10:45. Yet more waiting! UGH! I'm not sure if I can take much more waiting. I just want to know, one way or the other, what this is! Needless to say, I have been quite full of emotions. The worst part is, I know that when I see them tomorrow, I am then going to have to do MORE WAITING for the appointment when they do the procedure. Then, more waiting, to get those results. Please pray with me that I get the results at that point, and don't have to wait for yet another test to determine what this is! Did I mention that I can't stand waiting?